I am in limbo. I am unable to concentrate on so many things. I am living with the interminable wait for Open University results.
It feels like forever. Truth be told, they turn these things round pretty quickly, as deadlines and exams are all usually around the end of May, early June and then module results tend to be out around mid-July. But given that I needed to submit early, and given that I am living with this wait, the wait for Open University results feels like a really long time!
All that I keep doing, in this unknown period, is overthinking both of my End of Module Assessments. I worked hard on them, but then as I did that last year and then received less than the result I’d been hoping for, I cannot help but assume that the same thing will happen again.
As these two modules are my final modules, I am not only waiting on the results for those, but also then my overall final degree classification. This makes those worries increase somewhat! That classification really does rest on these final assessment results, so there’s a lot riding on them.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not sitting in my house rocking back and forth each day panicking! But as I go about my day, every now and then the thought of someone marking my EMA’s pops into my head and a knot of anxiety forms and I have to work to distract myself from thinking about it.
I’ve a little over three weeks to wait now, though of course they could come in earlier. Which means that in a couple of weeks, every time I get an email I’ll be glancing worriedly at my phone just in case it’s the notification of results. The notification that I need to see, but the one that I know will make me feel a bit sick when I see it. I’ll want to rush to log on and get my results, though at the same time, will be too scared to look!
Ah well, not much longer now, I guess. Over halfway through this waiting game. The wait for Open University results. What will be will be, worrying won’t change that. I just need to know now….
You can read more about my Open University journey here.