Little Man’s Rocky Start in Life

I’ve not written about my pregnancy with Little Man before, though I’ve been meaning to, as it wasn’t an easy one. At the time, as I Googled what was happening to me, desperately looking for good news, I did think, if this goes well, I should share it so that others can find my story. So, enough rambling on, here’s the story, and a little more about a subchorionic hematoma….

I suppose I should have known from the very first that it mightn’t be a smooth one. On Christmas Day, I had what I felt sure to be implantation cramps, and I distinctly remember watching Christmas SCD, feeling happy and certain that I was pregnant. But then, a few days later, I started to bleed, a fair bit, too. Me being me, I was still sure I knew my body, so took a pregnancy test a couple of days earlier than I was due on. Negative. Still thought I was right, though. So on my due date, I took another, even though I was still bleeding. Yep, it was a positive. Not great with the bleeding, but I bled a little bit in the early weeks with Boo, so didn’t overly worry. Then, at 6 weeks in, I bled some more. I booked in to have a scan the week after, which is exactly what had happened with Boo, though there was more blood this time round. There it was, the little grain of rice, pulsating with a heartbeat on the screen, so all was well. So far. At 8 weeks, I bled again, and by now, it was more like I’d bleed a little most days, so more scans, more reassurances that baby was staying put. Though, on all of these occasions, it was made clear that it was all very 50:50, and a miscarriage was entirely possible. I was told it was a subchorionic hematoma. When implanting and attaching, the sac had pulled away a little from the wall of my uterus and a pocket of blood had formed between it. It might drain out, it might re-absorb itself or it might cause the whole placenta to pull away causing a miscarriage. No one knew which it’d be. The advice was simply to rest up, no lifting (not easy to avoid with a 2 year old!) and I also found that staying hydrated helped.

The bleeding finally stopped at 10 weeks, and so I started to look forward to my dating scan and relax a little (morning sickness aside, that is). However, a few days before that scan, just as we were about to leave the house for the day on a Saturday, I thought it was all over. The bleeding returned, and my, there was a lot. I’m talking floods of it. I was sure this was it, and shakingly went straight to A&E.

Leaving some 5 hours later and still bleeding, I was none the wiser. I was told I might be miscarrying and to go back for a scan next week. That scan revealed my baby happily bouncing about in there, and I then had my dating scan a few days later, where they checked on and measured the hematoma again.

At 14 weeks and still bleeding, I had another scan. Yep, still there, happily kicking, and the midwife was quite reassuring, telling me it was a great sign the pregnancy had continued this far. The very next day I had a consultant appointment to discuss the birth (following a tear from my first delivery) where I got my C Section request approved and saw the rudest medical professional I’ve had the misfortune to encounter. She was very blasΓ© about the fact that I could easily miscarry still, speaking of it quite dismissively and casually, like it was no big deal. Not keen on her.

There didn’t feel like a safe time, until the bleeding had gone for just over 4 weeks, and at my 20 week scan, they could see no sign of the hematoma any more. Until then, I’d quite deliberately tried not to bond with my unborn baby, as I felt sure I’d lose it. And he was a very early kicker, too, as if trying to reassure me and make me pay attention to him in there.

From around 20 weeks, all went normally, no more bleeds, until he arrived by planned C Section at 39 weeks. To be honest, until he was out and I could hold him in my arms, I’d still expected things to go wrong. It just hadn’t felt quite real, despite his constant squirming and my enormous body! That’s hard to explain, though I’m sure it’s connected to the constant assumption that I’d lose him for the first half of the pregnancy. But lose him I did not. He fought. He hung in there, and he arrived, on that warm day in September, 2012..

LITTLEMANBORN

Despite being surgical and our second, it somehow felt all the more miraculous than when our beautiful first born arrived quite naturally by water birth. For this one had always felt in danger of never coming.

Since having Little Man, I’ve heard of a couple of other people, friends of friends, who have had a subchorionic hematoma, and I’ve been able to offer advice and a level of reassurance to them, though of course, as I’m very aware, the baby may not always make it. But I want to say to people that sometimes, in spite of all this blood and fear, the baby does make it, so hang in there and keep on hoping. You could have a fighter on your hands.

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56 thoughts on “Little Man’s Rocky Start in Life”

  1. Wow Jocelyn, what a moving story, that thankfully had a happy ending! It must have been so scary with all that going on, and you coped with all that while also looking after a toddler! Blimey! It reminds me that even though my pregnancy was hard, I was so lucky in lots of ways as Monkey wasn’t at risk. Very moving post xx

  2. Wow what a story! Your little man is a proper little fighter =D i’m so glad it all went well in the end, it must of been so scary for you xx #MMWBH

    1. Thank you. Yes, hard at the time, but now I know him, it’s clear he’d have been fine. He’s a strong little thing! X

  3. Oh goodness me, what a tough time you had! It’s amazing that you are sharing it though – I know how often I searched google for people having similar experiences when I was pregnant. Someone will be helped by it, I’m sure of it! So glad your little man is doing well – what a beautiful, beautiful baby he turned out to be! E x

    1. Thank you. Yes, exactly that with Googling. I know I’d have appreciated finding this post back when I was going through it all x

    1. It was stressful, and so hard to really rest and do my best for him, when I had a 2 yo wanting to be picked up and jump all over me! He made it, though πŸ™‚

  4. oooo i’m covered in goosebumps reading this. I didn’t have anything as serious as this but early on my placenta had separated a little and just had to rest. Even when we were told everything was all okay I never fully allowed myself to feel like it was real until he was here with us!

    Your little man looks beautiful and absolutely perfect!! I love that he was an early kicker, there is nothing like those kicks to give reassurance is there πŸ™‚ x

    1. Oh dear, anything like that is scary, though. Yes, I felt him moving really early and he didn’t stop kicking then! Reassuringly uncomfortable πŸ˜‰

  5. So glad your little man was a fighter and stayed put!!! Pregnancy can be so joyful yet so scary at the time, I’ve miscarried three times and each subsequent pregnancy after I wasn’t able to fully enjoy it for fear of something going wrong, I guess these things are sent to try us #MMWBH x

    1. Oh no, sorry to hear that. It’s hard to relax and enjoy it, constantly fearing the worse, but I was so fortunate that all ended well x

  6. Very moving post Jocelyn. Struggling to keep the tears at bay here! How lovely he hung on in there and all was well in the end, but how worrying for you! He looks adorable in this photo. So gorgeous, bless him. x

    1. Thank you. He’s a gorgeous little fighter, and the relief I felt when I heard his first cry – I’ll never forget it! X

  7. He looks lovely, i can t really imagine i you felt but im sure it wasnt the greatest time of your life, to have someone and to constantly worry. All the best to you and your little fighter!)

    1. Thank you. It was hard, but I know there are many worse stories out there, and it did all end well πŸ™‚

  8. WOW Jocelyn what a great post, thank you ever so much for sharing it. What a scary time for you all. I bled with both my babies so I knew the second time around what to expect. It always lasted until 20 weeks too for me. It’s hard to not getting attached and excited with the fear that they might not be there each time. I am so glad everything worked out and your have your precious little man! What a good lil fighter he is. Thank you so much for joining in for SHARE WITH ME, I enjoyed reading your post and getting to know more about you and your lovely lil family!!!! Big hugs!

    1. It’s funny how common bleeding is once you chat about it, isn’t it? Yes, it’s scary, but not necessarily a terrible thing. Glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for hosting x

  9. Gosh, that must’ve all been so scary! It’s terrifying how much can go wrong, and makes each one of these little people we share our lives with even more miraculous xx

  10. Great post Jocelyn, and well done for highlighting this, I’m sure that it will be very helpful to someone. It’s interesting reading this, and Jenny’s comment, as I also bled, albeit fairly lightly for the first 20 weeks in my first pregnancy. It stopped overnight once I hit 20! There was no reason ever identified, it was just one of those things, but I got the impression that it was far more common that we might imagine and importantly; it is not always the precursor of something bad – always get it checked out, but don’t lose hope.

    1. Thanks, Sara. I kept meaning to write this and get my story out there, so to help others, so I’m glad I’ve done it. It is common, I think, though no less scary for it, of course. Knowing him as I do now, I should never have doubted he’d be fine – my crazy, strong Little Man! X

  11. Oh wow what a story. It makes me realise how ‘text book’ my pregnancies were.
    Your little man definitely wanted to make it into the world! x

    1. Yes, he certainly did! I know it could have been more painful or harder in that way, but it was an emotionally draining pregnancy. He’s here now, though πŸ™‚

  12. Wow, what a moving story, so pleased it had a happy ending! I was very fortunate in my pregnancy, I reckon – just all went a bit pear-shaped afterwards!

    Thanks for writing your story, am sure it’ll help others.

    #MMWBH

    1. Oh no, sorry to hear that. Fortunately, my problems stayed at pregnancy stage, and all was OK from birth onwards x

  13. I can’t imagine how hard this must have been for you. All those scans and never knowing what you might see, what a fighter your boy is! Amazing and you obviously had Mama’s intuition that he would make it from the beginning! You’ve given me hope in my own difficult situation, thanks for sharing

  14. What a brave mama. I had bleeding at 11 weeks and again at 14. At 11 weeks I was certain it was the end. A trip to a and e and a lovely heartbeat confirmed that no, babe was fine and cervix still closed. At 14 weeks I still felt pregnant so no trip to a and e as no pain. There was a reassuring poster up in the early pregnancy unit that said: 80% of bleeding in early pregnancy doesn’t result in miscarriage. What a huge percentage! And despite not wanting to believe it, and fully prepared for the worst, waiting for that scan, it made me feel a little better. Babies are amazing. Miraculous, incredible but bloody scary! A lovely tale. Thanks for sharing. Xx

    1. Thank you. And thanks for sharing your story, too. They are absolutely amazing, as are our bodies. That statistic is reassuring and just what you need while waiting for scans like this, and I had many, many scans! X

  15. Wow – nothing worse than being completely on edge for nine solid months! Puts my horrendous acid indigestion into perspective! Seriously though I am so happy that Little Man was destined for this world no matter what – can’t imagine how horrendous it must be to miscarry – especially later on in a pregnancy. Its one of the saddest things I can imagine in life.

    1. It was worrying, but all ended well. I’ve a good friend pregnant now, having a very stressful time as her last baby had breathing difficulties as soon as she was born, and died at just 2 days old. I can’t imagine the emotions she’s going through this time round and am so looking forward to meeting that beautiful baby x

  16. Goodness, how incredibly stressful. I too had bleeding and at 23 weeks was told ‘the foetus isn’t viable’ which was pleasant. I couldn’t lift or carry heavy objects-hated not being able to properly hug my little girl. Mine was a planned c section too-the relief of holding that little boy is beyond words. That must have been a toughie to write xx

  17. I bled on and off for the first 12 weeks in all my pregnancies. It is horrible, no matter how logical you are it’s the last thing I wanted to see. I have 2 lovely boys now, but ‘I know’ it can go either way. With my first I remember suggesting to the gp that I should stay off work as i did a lot of heavy lifting. He said nothing I did would make any difference to the outcome, so just go anyway. I did go but I was an emotional wreck. The thing I’ve learned is to go with your instinct, and don’t be afraid to question your healthcare professional. G.p was possibly right, physically, but I could’ve done without the nine months of stress!

  18. What a moving story – and such a positive one; I’ve had 5 miscarriages since having my son 4 years ago. It’s so lovely to hear that bleeding can end with a beautiful baby. Thanks for sharing
    #ShareWithMe

  19. Thanks for writing this. I had bleeding with my third. Having had an early miscarriage 6 months before I assumed I was losing this one. I had bleeding at around 6 weeks, scan showed nothing so they did blood hormone level test which repeated two days later and level went up. So they did another scan, saw something were concerned it was molar pregnancy (which is rare & can cause cancer). Which panicked me as you can imagine. They booked me in for a DNC – the consultant asked to see us in a private room when I was gowned up . She saved our baby, as she said she wanted to wait a bit longer and do a scan again. That maybe the blood & thing on scan was a lost twin, that there’s a chance when next did scan they’d see a heart beat. And they did. The bleeding stopped around 12 weeks and the sickness kicked in. My little girl was born this January – I was so worried there’d be something wrong with the baby. She was born a little small so whether that was something due to her start ? But you are so right bleeding isn’t always what it seems.

  20. Wow! I have been completely touched by your post, which I guess must have been very difficult to write. I can relate to your story and I think every baby really is a little miracle. Thanks for having the courage to share your experience because I believe it will give pregnant women hope when they think all is lost.

    1. I really do hope so as I’d have appreciated reading it when I was pregnant. There’s no point where you can really relax, but as soon as he was here, it was all obviously worth the stress. He’s wonderful πŸ™‚

  21. Wow – what a moving story. I think there is an element of post traumatic stress after something like this where you say: “did I really go through that?”. Love the happy ending – what a little fighter #themegame x

    1. He really is, and now that I know him so well, it’s clear he was always going to make it. He’s a strong one! Thank you x

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