Today marks the end of an era here. Today is mine and Little Man’s last day together, just the two of us whilst Boo’s at school. He’ll be off to his last day at nursery tomorrow, complete with a Leavers Assembly, and then after the summer he will start school. My baby. At school.
Little Man and I have had three years at home together since Boo started school, and as he starts school two days after his fifth birthday, he’s been a constant around me for five years. He’s been going to nursery for two days a week since last January, but as those days fly by in a flurry of work and studying, it feels like I am never alone!
I remember just after Boo started school, the classes we tried, the playgroups we went along to. Little Man wasn’t much of a joiner in groups, but slowly through play dates and soft play, his confidence started to grow and then once we got over the challenges of settling into nursery, he has made more friends and has enjoyed it so much more since. I went along to parents evening this week and it was such a lovely report and his key-worker can see how much his confidence has improved there over time. He will be OK at school, he is ready for it.
But I feel like we’ve wasted time together. We have had five years and I feel like it’s suddenly been snatched away and I want the five years over again. Images of him run through my head at various groups, feeding the ducks, having fun in playgrounds, on our cinema dates and so many more. So many hours spent playing with Lego, Playmobil and Star Wars, having snuggles in our bed reading books, having Power Ranger battles in the garden and cuddling up watching films together.
I know, I know, that he’s not going away and I know so well that I will still feel I have lots of time with him, as I do with Boo. Second time around, I am used to the school runs, the adjustments, the sorts of things he’ll be doing in Reception. I don’t need to worry about any of that, I simply think that I’m going to miss him. The house will feel so quiet and empty each day.
Yes, I have more than enough to keep me busy, working here and studying full time, but I am just not quite ready to let him go, my baby boy.
In the meantime, we have the summer holidays stretching before us, so we’ll be having some fun and I’ll be squeezing in as many cuddles as I possibly can with him. My beautiful boy, soon to be a school boy. Where did that time go?