When You Don’t Want Your Kids To Be Like You


I don’t know about you, but as a parent, I look at myself and the Husband and wonder how the kids will take after us. I wonder if either of them will love history (hope so!), I wonder which one of them will follow me and love scary movies (it’s looking like Little Man has a leaning towards the macabre), I wonder whether they’ll have a passion for reading (it’s looking good so far), I wonder whether they’ll have their dad’s flair for art (Boo’s got it) and I hope that they’ll follow in the Husband’s footsteps in sport and athleticism as I am definitely lacking there! So sometimes it’s the little quirks, sometimes it’s the bigger things and then there’s the more important things, like their health.

Last week as it was half term, I took the kids to the dentists and the opticians. I know, I know, not the most exciting of outings, though I can assure you they were squeezed in around plenty of play dates and my two do actually like going to both of these and see them as fun! All fine at the dentists, and then we found that Boo will need glasses at her eye appointment.

It’s made me sad that her eyesight’s not perfect, which is such a silly thing, I know, as lots of children wear glasses. I know that they will help her and be good for her and she loved choosing her new specs. We’ll be off to collect a pair of Moana glasses and Frozen glasses later this week and she can’t wait. She seems most interested in checking that she will receive matching cases for them?!

It seems that her right eye is perfect, whereas her left has astigmatism and is slightly short-sighted. Her right is working hard to compensate and it is only slightly short in her left so I doubt she’s really noticed, and I certainly hadn’t.

So why am I sad? I guess as someone with fairly severe myopia, I’d hoped the children wouldn’t have to deal with it. This was one of those things that I didn’t want them to inherit from me, one of those areas that I wanted them to follow their dad in, or even the rest of my family as I’m the only one who wears glasses. My poor eyesight is why I’m quite hot on getting their eyes tested regularly, and I’m hoping we have caught this nice and early which might help, though who knows.

Of course needing glasses is no big thing, and in this day and age, poor eyesight is easily remedied. It’s just something that would be easier for them not to have, isn’t it? My sadness is about me, a reflection on my experiences, rather than Boo’s need for glasses. It had me thinking of all the things I have been through with my eyes, the hospital tests, the expense, the failed attempts to wear contacts, the headaches indicating they’ve deteriorated yet again, the niggles around getting new glasses, the frustrations around poor eyesight, oh, the list goes on! And yes, I know, really not the worst thing to have, I am well aware of that. I am very lucky to have happy, healthy children. I just wish my girl could have avoided it, that’s all, wish this was something I had not passed on. Though on the upside, maybe she’ll get this one and skip the inability to throw a ball beyond 10 feet gene?!

So I will focus on her excitement, I will help her adjust to wearing them, I will keep on top of her check ups, I will remind her of the great job her glasses are doing and I will tell her how wonderful she looks in them. Her excitement for new things, her positive attitude and optimism in the face of every new adventure, well those things she gets from me, and that’s something I am happy about. Phew, at least that’s one good gene ticked!

How about you? In what ways do you hope your children take after you, or not as the case may be!

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10 thoughts on “When You Don’t Want Your Kids To Be Like You

  • Anne

    I bet she will look adorable in her glasses x I always had 20 20 vision until I got old, now I have to wear reading glasses. I was most surprised when my daughter needed glasses, she’s the only one in the family. Unfortunately, my other daughter has inherited my wonky joints, but at least she got her diagnosis early enough to get the help she needs.

    • Jocelyn Post author

      Oh, she will, and she’s so excited. It’s great that your daughter got an early diagnosis, so she’s fully supported early on.

  • MAria

    the point is which shape of glasses you have. I didn’t like my first glasses because they were making me look much older than I really am. After few week a change them, and now I feel myself much better and even more confident. So wish good luck 🙂

  • Hayley Smith

    Ah I totally understand, I was a little sad when I knew Lucas had to wear glasses. I was younger than him when I needed mine and I used to try and hide them in my tray at school! My eye sight is so bad but I know they got his early and it had already levelled off after six weeks of wearing glasses. It’s so different for children now, all his friends were excited to see them and he proudly showed off the Star Wars glasses. It’s like he’s always had them now, he wears them without any problems! I’m sure that’s Boo will be the same, I do think they do so much more now than when we were kids, it’s not even an issue to them xx

  • Becky

    My daughter struggles with coordination something I have always struggled with two (never been able to drive a manual/change a lighbulb/had 1000 + driving lessons) Sge struggle to do her hair hold her cutlery well and I can see this comes form me. Makes me sad too. we want their lives to be so easy. I hope she gets matching cases

    • Jocelyn Post author

      We do want them to just have it smooth-sailing, don’t we? And of course life isn’t like that in reality, it’s just us parents that want it so!

  • Louise Houghton

    Hi Jocelyn. Great post to make us think. Yes, the good thing that they have caught it now means it may be sorted out and glasses will only be short term. We often think about what the boys will do later in life. It doesn’t appear that either of the boys are taking after us – good or bad. Harry is a very bright boy and once he puts his mind to something he becomes quite obsessed about it so I know he will find something he really wants to do. He isn’t particularly arty, as I am not but I am a bit crafty, but is great at designing and building things from lego and other toy building this that you wouldn’t think possible, a bit like Jon in the way her creates things for the house for us, so maybe….? Alfie has always been quite a performer around the house, Jon and I are not really this way inclined, and is now just loving his Stage School, however he is the classic ‘thespian’ in that he worries terribly if he doesn’t know his lines and worries about performing in front of people – a bit of stage fright. We just encourage him and it all normally comes out in the wash. Ultimately I think we all hope our children will find something they really enjoy, but Jon is keen to teach them practical skills and I will make sure they can cook for themselves once they are on their own.

    • Jocelyn Post author

      It’s lovely to see their personalities and interests develop as they grow, isn’t it? My girl likes performing, too, but that’s definitely not from us!